An Educationist’s Weblog

In Jodi Picoult’s novel My Sister’s Keeper, there’s this particular quote that I find to be very insightful:

“Let me tell you this: If you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”

Personally, I feel that nobody is born to live alone. When a child is born, he or she is often blessed with the companionship of his or her parent(s) and at times, his or her sibling(s). When the child grows up, there are many opportunities for him or her to get to know people: in schools, in the workplace and even during dates. Most of us go through this life cycle of getting acquainted with people, making friends and communicating with loved one.  

If this is the case, why are there loners in this world?

In this aspect, I agree with Jodi Picoult completely in terms of loners being let down by people around them.  I believe that deep down in our hearts, we are all looking for a sense of reciprocity in all types of relationships, be it in friendships or marriages. Many of us are blessed with a loving family and/or marital bliss.  Many of us have received tremendous support and encouragement from our loved ones. Although it’s been said that we should not depend on others emotionally, there’s always that void that exists when love from our loved ones are non-existent.  And individuals become loners because of that void.

There are people in this world whose feelings are often not reciprocated. There are several reasons leading to this but the circumstances are not important. What’s important is the frequency. While all of us have - to a certain degree- been rejected by others, the times that loners have been rejected by others far exceed any of us. It’s this continuous and countless rejections by others that transforms a normal person into a loner.  Yes, the adage ”what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger” is indeed true.  Through countless rejections, loners have - over time- developed an ability to read people.

There’s a misconception to the term “loner”. Most of us have the mistaken impression that loners are people who live and stay on their own. While this may be true, most loners actually have friends. It’s merely the fact that their social circle is much smaller than others. But more often than not, the relationships between loners and the few friends that they have are sincere and deep.  These few friends of theirs are the ones who reciprocate. So, instead of saying that loners are lonely, we can choose to see things from a different perspective: that loners are really individuals who are not only not lonely, they actually spend quality time with good and sincere friends who really matters to them.

Loners are often perceived to be individuals who lack social skills.  What if there exists a possibility that loners are actually the ones who surpass all of us in their communication skills based on the fact that they possess the ability to profile people accurately while many of us don’t? Are loners then the better communicators? 

After all, excellent communication often hinges on the quality of time spent with others, and not on the number of people that are involved. Just think of a friendship forged between someone we have chatted over a period of time and the acquaintances that we meet at any social gathering. Which leaves a deeper impression?

It’s true that a lack of reciprocity may be what turns one into a loner. But it’s also the lack of opportunities of meeting more people that turns their relationships with their loved ones around them even more memorable.

Ultimately, I believe that loners have the ability to love and deserve to be loved for who they are.

In the Korean drama Dalja’s Spring (2007), there’s a scene where the female lead puts in tons of effort to prepare for the birthday celebration of her boyfriend. And her lover reciprocates her effort with a single comment: “The dress that you are wearing does not suit you.” It’s amazing that an entire day of effort is rewarded with one devastatingly hurtful statement.

While it’s been said that we should not allow our temperaments to be dictated by the comments of others, comments and criticisms from others do affect all of us to a certain extent one way or another. After all, all of us – both introverts and extroverts alike- look forward to social interaction. It’s just the degree of interaction that varies. Therefore, acceptance in our social groups is an important component to our well-being.

It’s therefore regrettable that few people in life give others compliments. In fact, on the contrary, many criticise and reject. For some, rejecting and criticising is their way of life. For others, putting someone down seems to give them a sense of superiority. This is especially prevalent in the workplace, where ideas are often shot down completely before much thought is given to its feasibility.

While it is true that we should offer our thoughts and comments to improve on the ideas of others, it is equally important that we try to retain certain aspects of the original ideas as long as they are acceptable. Personally, I will strive to retain at least 50 percent of the person’s original work. However, in real life, the idea often gets discarded. The final product often ends up being an entirely different version, and provides a vision that is completely different from the originator of the ideas.

Assuming that we have the authority to put someone’s idea down, we should try our best to salvage whatever is workable in the original version first. This is because the individual who has come up with the idea has put in time and effort in it. More importantly, rejecting the idea outright will convey a rather negative message, which is “You are wrong, and I am right”, “I am better than you” etc. Now, if we were to completely reject someone’s idea and then provide our take on the ideas, do you think the person will accept our contributions? 

So, acceptance must come first.

As an educator, I always believe in encouraging the heart. To my students, I never fail to add a note of encouragement in the daily lessons, no matter how they have done in the lessons.  And I always acknowledge and accept their responses while guiding them to explore issues in the lessons from different perspectives. I feel that it’s not only important that the students have a sense of acceptance in class, they should be encouraged by the educators as well. Unfortunately, it is often not the case in the workplace, where rejections and criticism by supervisors are common.   

I have a friend who was conversing with his fellow colleague and myself once. Upon noticing the unique jade bracelet that she is wearing, he complimented her on how the colour of the bracelet complements the colour of her blouse. And that put a smile on her face for quite a while. And their rapport gradually grew stronger since that day.

Such is the impact of showing a sign of appreciation.  

Throw “rejection” and “criticism” out of the window, not someone’s idea.

There seems to be a common perception among some educators that maintaining a high level of intelligence while minimising the engagement of emotions in the classroom is the recommended prescription for an effective class. The rationale behind this is that when students engage with the lessons intellectually, the possibility of conflict can be minimised. While this may be true, there are several crucial things that will be compromised.

Firstly, the expression of intellectual abilities is usually done individually rather than through a group effort. As a result, the students within a team may not bond well. In fact, conflicts might increase due to the fact that some team mates may see the expression of intellectual prowess by another as a threat. What begins as esprit de corps within a team may end up being an unhealthy competition between team mates, each striving to beat the rest. As a result, team productivity falls. 

Secondly, the abovementioned approach of prioritising intellect over emotion in the classroom will result in a batch of students who will graduate with high IQ (Intelligence Quotient) and not-so-high EQ (Emotional Quotient).  This approach reinforces the perception of what some employers feel about the graduates of today. That is, the graduates are efficient as independent workers but do not collaborate as well when tasked to work with other members within a team.

Lastly, the abovementioned approach may result in a suppression of emotions. And as many of us are well aware of (and which some of us may well attest to), the release of pent-up frustration can be devastatingly explosive. Emotions (be it positive or negative) is part of human nature and they need to be acknowledged in our daily lives. However, the abovementioned approach almost seems not to attribute much importance to them.

So, if intelligence should not be prioritised over emotions, what - as educators - can we do about it?

Personally, I will propose increasing the level of intellectual activities in the classroom while at the same time, engaging the students emotionally as well. As can be seen in the approach as described at the start of this post, there are some educators who will steer clear of emotions since conflicts often result from emotions rather than from intellectual activities. But this is only half the story.  It’s true that conflicts often results from emotional outbursts but if one were to look carefully at this phenomenon, it can be observed that conflicts result not from all emotions but from negative emotions.  This implies that if - as educators - we are able to engage the students through positive emotions, both team and class cohesiveness can be achieved. Therefore, the solution is not to avoid any emotional engagement in class but to emphasise and highlight the positive aspects of emotions in class.

Think about it. What is the more impactful factor (intellectual brainstorming sessions or emotional engagement) that brings people together? It’s usually the latter. For example, think about the famous speeches by luminaries such as Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King.  Think about our favourite songs. Think about our favourite movie scene(s). Why do we find them to be meaningful and memorable? Is our preferences based on intellectual grounds or does much of it have to do with our emotions? I believe that it’s our emotions. It takes intelligence for a lyricist to pen song lyrics but it’s the evoking of emotions in the listener when the song is played that makes the song beautiful, yes?

So, while educators are busy getting students to engage intellectually with the lesson, emotions cannot be neglected. While it is important to engage students emotionally, it is crucial to note that positive emotions should be evoked, and all efforts should be put in to steer clear from negative emotions such as anger and frustration. In the event that conflicts result in the classroom, educators should do their best to turn such negative emotions into positive ones. This will include getting the different perspectives from the relevant parties involved, clearing misunderstandings and mediating conflicts. As much details and experiences are required when investigating these issues, I will not go into the details since doing so will be digressing from the primary issues being discussed here.

Now, let’s look at the ways that positive emotions can be evoked in class.

Firstly, it will be good to use the “Encourage the Heart” approach, which is more of a nurturing approach and which is also one of my favourite approaches. So, what is meant by “encouraging the heart”? It means giving students the confidence to do well in class. Every student is different, so educators need to identify their strengths and encourage them based on it.  Most educators commit the error of not telling the students that they are doing well since the students are not excelling yet in class. But this is a mistake. Educators should not assess students based on their current performance but rather, on what the students are able to achieve. Enable the students to focus on what they can be, and not on how they are doing now. This is the same as setting our life goals, visualising the outcome and then taking steps to achieve them. If people start to tell us about the challenges and obstacles that lie along the journey even before we see our destination, we will probably fail. However, if others enable us to see the outcome first and then allow us to take the steps to reach our goals with sheer determination and perseverance, we will succeed.

Let’s consider a student John, who is good in writing but is currently not doing well as he hs facing some difficulties in constructing sentences. Most educators will - at this point - inform John about his weaknesses (in this case, his inability to construct proper sentences) and that’s it. Doing this will probably cause John to be demoralised and unhappy, which is a negative outcome and which negative emotions are being expressed. As mentioned above, this should be avoided at all cost.  It is right that educators inform John on areas where he can improve on. But more importantly, they should have told him about the achievements that he can achieve should he improve himself.  Giving students the positive outcome if they are willing to put in the effort to realise their potential is a crucial step that most educators overlook. 

As can be observed, the “Encouraging the Heart” approach engages the students’ emotions positively, usually with great results.

However, the “Encouraging the Heart” approach is effective on an individual level only. That is, this approach is directed towards each student separately, albeit every one of them. Therefore, the primary weakness of this approach is that it lacks the opportunities for educators to create rapport between teams and as a class.

The second approach that can be used alongside the “Encouraging the Heart” approach is what I termed the “Caring” approach. That is, creating the awareness in class that we as educators do indeed care for the students.  And more importantly, through our caring nature, educators should illustrate the fact that we treat all students equally with no biasness. When this is achieved, the students will work closely with one another upon knowing that every one of them is equal in the eyes of their teachers. Conflicts can hence be minimised as well.

There are many ways that we can show students that we care. Reminding them about the dates of upcoming tests is one instance. Guiding them when they are in doubt about the lessons is another. The essence of caring lies in the small acts of kindness that we do for our students. All this really adds up to the positive impressions that our students will have of us. Of course, the most important thing is sincerity. As educators, we help students sincerely, and not to secure positive students’ appraisals. The reason why we are helping students is very, very important. We must have the right mindset from the outset.

The abovementioned two approaches can be used concurrently in class to engage the students’ emotions positively and to instil the confidence in them to do their best.  These two approaches also serve to prove that emotions is equally if not more important than intellect when it comes to engaging students in class.

In communication, it always seems that things are going well, even when it isn’t. People usually have a way of concealing their dissatisfaction behind a smile for fear of damaging the goodwill that exists among the relevant parties. This reaction by most of us actually makes communication more complex. While most literary sources will state that good communication usually encompasses the expression of one’s perception and opinions truthfully to the relevant parties involved, this usually does not happen in reality.

Hence, as communicators, we need to find an effective way to understand the sentiments of others without any form of confrontation or conflict. And one such way will be to check for inconsistencies, be it in the form of a person’s body language, the lingo that he or she uses or even the manner that he or she goes about handling daily issues. This is because when a person is uncomfortable about certain issues, they might not express their opinions verbally but their disagreement will probably show through their communication style. For example, when a person is angry, they might avoid eye contact when we apologise to them about the issue (but of course, we have to make sure that it’s not a shyness issue). When a person is friendly initially but turns cold all of a sudden, there’s probably a reason behind it too.

As communicators, we need to have both eyes and ears for details, just like a detective. Although the goals are different, we share one common technique for observation: checking for inconsistencies.  This is an important skill that most great communicators possess. At times, these communicators are seen as reading someone else’s mind but in reality, they are merely observing inconsistencies in the behaviour of others and making a deduction about the reasons, where - more often than not- they are justified.   

Looking for inconsistencies, examining the reasons behind the change and understanding the rationale for a person’s course of action is a challenging task and can’t be accomplished within a short period of time. This is precisely why all of us should start observing and examining inconsistencies now. 

Resolving conflicts in communication is vital to sustaining healthy relationships but preventing conflicts before they arise is even more important.

As the saying goes, prevention is better than cure.

I was walking along the streets last weekend where shopping centres line both sides of the road. Shoppers are busy moving along the pavements, most of them having a look of satisfaction, what with the bags that they are carrying, loaded with the day’s purchases.

Suddenly, a sound to my left caught me by surprise.  Turning to examine the situation further, I realise that a gentleman and a lady were standing behind some music synthesizers while speaking to the crowd walking past. It took me a minute to figure out what was actually happening. Both speakers were taking turns to give a sales pitch to passersby about the products available for sale near the counters in front of them. Apparently, they have been hired by a retail company to advertise the products that are lined in rows in front of them.

As I am waiting for a friend at the location, I decided to wait at the area. Patient at first, I begin to get affected by the sales pitch that lasted throughout the times (read: around 25 minutes) that I have spent waiting for my friend. When I turned to the throng of shoppers walking past, I see many annoyed and exasperated faces as well. It seems that the speakers’ attempted sales pitch might have backfired.

Advertisers are not only getting more visual. They are also getting louder. While we are able to have peace of mind when walking along the streets previously, sales pitches now rule the streets. Many advertisers also employ staff to stop shoppers along the road and engage them in conversation to sell their products and/or services. Cold calls from telemarketers are also on the rise. Advertisers are taking more measures to engage potential customers to communicate their products and/or services, which is not surprising considering the intense competition. Nevertheless - as consumers - we should have the freedom and flexibility to choose our products with an open mind, and make purchases based only upon a need. 

This situation can similarly be observed in our daily conversations. Some of us have the perception that being loud is more effective. The term “loud” here does not refer to an increased volume while speaking but rather, it means dominating a conversation with one’s perspective on things or making an increased effort to persuade others to our point of view.  And there are some of us who regard the ability to talk well and eloquently as the primary steps to success.  Personally, I feel that being eloquent and articulate in one’s speech might well give others a good impression, but not much else. This is because an articulate person who speaks excellently but lacks the ability to deliver the deliverables will never be able to defeat one formidable foe: time.  Over time, their credibility will eventually collapse.

Seen in this light, effective communication is neither being loud nor being able to sell something or persuade someone. Effective communication is about being able to understand someone from their perspective and giving them a fair amount of understanding and respect. 

Going back to the practice of advertisers making their sales pitches from loud speakers, it can be observed that there are a few areas that advertisers should take into consideration when trying to make a sale:

•  Giving respect to consumers: The fact that the speakers are speaking in a conspicuous area shows a strong intent to engage any potential customers in that space. While this increases the chances of sales transactions, it also indicates a lack of respect for the personal space of consumers.  Of course, one may argue that consumers are free to walk away. Nevertheless, consumers should be given peace of mind when shopping.  In addition, advertisers are making it more challenging for consumers to make purchases upon a need. In fact, more and more consumers are making purchases out of desires, which should not be encouraged.
• Reducing the noise: The term “noise” here can be defined as “”Sound or a sound that is loud, unpleasant, unexpected, or undesired (thefreedictionary.com). Indeed, making a sales pitch at a high volume can be considered to be loud. Having one’s thoughts disrupted by sudden noises is both unpleasant and unexpected. And being encouraged to buy something when one does not see a need are often considered as undesirable.  Therefore, what constitutes as a sales pitch by advertisers are often considered as noise by consumers.

Traditional advertising has always emphasised about targeting potential customers based on specific demographics and psychographics. And this should be the way, since the communications are more focused and hence effective.  Whatever happens to such practices?

It’s great that advertisers are adapting to changes. But let’s hope that it’s for the better. 

Editing has often been considered as the prescriptive solution for mediocre writing, in the same way that image editing software has been considered to be the antidote of bad digital photography.  This is regrettable because no amount of editing will be able to save a piece of writing if it’s in bad shape.

A good writing style is the prerequisite to good writing. If the quality of a piece of writing is compromised, no amount of editing will be able to save it. The most that editing can do is in making the piece of writing readable and acceptable.  If we want to make the mediocre writing shine, re-writing is the prescription, not editing. 

Some of you might wonder about the reason for two separate professions of editors and journalists in the newsroom if editing is so trivial. Please do not misunderstand.  I am not saying that editing is unimportant, but merely that editing has its limits. This limit is removed if the writer and editor is one and the same person because there is a consistency in terms of writing style. However, things get challenging when the writer and editor are two separate individuals. How does one balance one’s distinct writing style with another’s judgment on things? All of us have different realities and based on this fact, it can be observed that editing someone’s writing can bring the writers’ message across to their readers, but it may not be in the way that the author intended.

One good analogy that we can think of will be a novel-inspired movie. In recent years, many movies are being made based on novels but fans of the novels are often disappointed about the content of the novel-inspired film. Why is this so? This is because the artistic directions of the novel’s author and the film director are different. If we add in the script writer, music editor and cinematographer, it is not difficult to see why a highly lauded film based on a novel that tops the box office is a miracle.

However, an editor’s ability does not pale in comparison to that of a writer. A writer creates a story through a distinct writing style while an editor scans through a written piece of writing for discrepancies.  Both endeavours are powerful in their own rights, although writing - with its ability to create something from a clean slate- seems to be a more powerful form of art. 

Nevertheless, a single individual who practises writing and editing is omnipotent.  

Communication is best done through non-verbal cues rather than spoken. 

This fact is already proven when our forebears communicate among one another through hand signals in the absence of language. This observation of non-verbal communication among our forebears is clear evidence that the “55% body language, 38% tone of voice and 7% verbal communication” is true only in the context of contemporary communication. If we are compelled by circumstances to communicate entirely on non-verbal cues, it is definitely possible.

Which brings us to the issue of this post: exploring non-verbal communication through dances. And in this instance, Argentine Tango. Do note there are distinct differences in Argentine Tango, American Tango and International Tango and these dances should not be confused. Most of you might be wondering why Argentine Tango is selected out of all dances, the reasons of which I will explain below.

I have examined all types of dances that include West Coast Swing, Rumba, Salsa, Foxtrot, Latin Jam, Hip Hop and Paso Doble.  All of the abovementioned types of dances are very interesting dances for all dance enthusiasts to engage in. In fact, many of these dances are considered as social dances. They enhance interactions and communications that are often unspoken as well as creating rapport among the participants in any dance social gatherings.

However, after reading on Argentine Tango and watching some of its dance movements, I realised that this dance is special primarily because it is improvisational. What this means is that Argentine Tango does not follow any specified dance steps unlike other dances (although there are some pre-defined dance moves that Argentine Tango dancers are able to use at will. These moves include the ocho, lapiz, sacada , gancho and the volcada).  While the follower takes the lead from the leader as in any other dance, the dances that they participate in are never entirely the same (unless they choose to do so), which makes Argentine Tango dance moves extremely unpredictable and interesting. The dance choreography is almost entirely done on the dance floor in an impromptu manner and this ability to create an entire new dance for every dance has attracted many dance enthusiasts to Argentine Tango.

Dance concepts aside, the ability to improvise the dance moves in Argentine Tango has created opportunities for many dancers to communicate non-verbally on the dance floor in the absence of words.  In life, there are few opportunities for us to communicate non-verbally. Thus, Argentine Tango- with its ability to enable dancers to improvise - bridges the gap that exists between two individuals who wish to communicate non-verbally.  Over time, coordination between the dancers can be improved. While this observation may be seen by many to be beneficial only for couples who are in love, veteran Argentine Tango dancers may most probably beg to differ. Non-verbal communications are for everyone.

Someone once commented that Argentine Tango is all about love and passion. I’d rather say that Argentine Tango is all about non-verbal communication.

For without non-verbal communication, there is no dance.

And there definitely will not be any Argentine Tango.

It is interesting to explore the concepts of our hearts and our minds.  It seems that almost all of us are utilising each of them at one time or another in our lives. And at other times, we utilise both our hearts and minds at the same time. What’s interesting is not how we utilise our hearts and minds but when we choose to utilise them.

Most of us tend to associate the mind with intellectual and logical reasoning while associating the heart with the entire spectrum of our emotions. When we talk about analysis and calculations, the mind comes into the picture. But when we shift our focus to relationship issues and altruistic endeavours, the heart seems to take precedence. And it seems that almost all of us are struggling to strike a balance between the two.  The dilemma of decision-making ultimately lies with how we make our choices.  So, how exactly do we do this?

Personally, I feel that as human beings, we have two types of mind, the first being the “conscious mind” while the second being the “subconscious mind”.  When we say that we are using our minds, we are using our “conscious minds”. And when we say that we are using our hearts, we are actually implying that we are using our “subconscious minds”. So, what exactly is the “conscious mind” and the “subconscious mind”?

The “conscious mind” is what we have been using our entire lives. I will say that most of us utilise 90-95% of our “conscious mind” when we are awake. In layman’s terms, this “conscious mind” is that little voice that is in our heads, constantly telling us what to do through reasoning and logic. Some of us call this voice our own “internal dialogue”. We tend to trust this voice not through prolonged acquaintances but through the seemingly sound advice that it gives.  And it seems flawless (which it is not). Professional speakers use it all the time.  Self-motivational speakers use them to provide self-affirmations as well (Think “I can do this”, “All will be well” etc). But there is a flipside to this “conscious mind”, as it is the accumulation of our past experiences (unless we control our thoughts). Let’s use an apt metaphor. Think of a computer which - upon receiving a request from us -retrieves data from the hard drive, computes the data and subsequently returns us the result that we asked for. And all this while, the data that the computer uses to return us the results are permanently stored and never erased. It just accumulates over time. Replace the data on the computer’s hard drive with our memories and it can be observed that our “conscious minds” work in almost an entirely similar way.

Now let’s look at two examples and we’ll see how our “conscious minds” often hinder and impede the relationship process.  When a guest at a party wants to approach the host, some random thoughts ran through the guest’s head.  The “conscious mind” - being the voice - will scan through this guest’s past experiences with parties and social gathering and provide him with some internal advice. Should this guest have some bad experiences in the past with social gatherings, the output of the “conscious mind” will be somewhat negative, along the lines of “You shouldn’t approach the host. Have you forgotten the last time you have done so? The host ignored you!”, “Why are you wasting your time? Just indulge in the food.” etc.

Now, let’s look at the second example. A person sees someone whom he or she likes and is on the verge of approaching the other party when his or her “conscious minds” starts the dialogue going again: “Why are you doing this? Do you want to get ignored again? Don’t you remember that the last time you approached someone, you got ignored?” This person will probably have problems approaching someone he or she fancies over time because of the “conscious mind”.

If we were to observe the two examples as described above, we can see that our “conscious mind” works well for us only in the absence of negative past experiences.  And all of us have negative experiences. So, somehow, these negative perceptions of things will surface in the form of our internal voices, our “conscious minds”.

Now, let’s look at our “subconscious mind”, otherwise known as our “gut feel”.” This subconscious mind is something that guides us and - unlike our conscious minds which stop working once we are asleep - never sleeps. It is constantly awake and serves as our guardian angels. Let’s explore a few examples where our subconscious minds are being utilised. Some of us type the computer keyboard very fluently and very fast. Yet, when we are asked to write down the exact location of the letters in the keyboard, we can’t. Why is this so? At other times, we are lost in a shopping mall that we have visited before but we soon find our way out. How is this possible? What about the times when some writers attempt a “stream-of-consciousness” writing, whereby they just write whatever thoughts that come into their minds. Although the writing is inconsistent and haphazard (signifying the absence of our “conscious mind”), how is it that the writer manage to project his or her thoughts on paper? It has even been said that our “subconscious minds” are the ones controlling the daily operations of our body systems. For example, we do not consciously notice our breathing, do we?  All this serves to illustrate the fact that in the absence of our “conscious minds”, our “subconscious minds” take over. To use another metaphor, we can say that while our “conscious minds” are the tip of the iceberg, our “subconscious minds” is the rest. Unfortunately, most of us are almost fully utilising our conscious minds (much of which can be attributed to the conventional education system which emphasises more on the rational and the logical) while largely ignoring the existence of our “subconscious minds”.

There seems to be a strong co-relation between our conscious and subconscious minds.  Whatever our “conscious minds” say, our “subconscious minds” listen and act accordingly.   Therefore, if we are able to stop the internal voices in our heads and replace them with affirmations,  the quality of our lives will improve. Of course, we have to take the appropriate actions for our goals to materialise.

So, yes. I believe that we should make choices with our hearts and not our minds, except on occasions when we need to do something that involves some form of technicalities such as writing or calculations. This is because our mind tends to mislead but our heart never lies.

I will like to conclude this article with a relevant example. Consider a student who wants to enroll in a Mass Communication course because he or she has an interest in this subject. However, there is a large market demand for engineers in the job market. Should the student listen to his or her heart, joy and contentment will follow. However, should the student succumbs to market demands by listening to his or her mind and chooses to be an engineer, this decision will take its toll on the student over time and ultimately affect his or her work productivity adversely.

I finally have the opportunity to give a speech that is written by myself to a crowd of a few hundred last night.  The feeling of satisfaction and exhilaration is almost indescribable.  The actual sense of elation is actually strongest towards the end when the crowd grants me a round of loud applause.  I have strong reasons to believe that the recognition of my speech arises more from how I word the sentences and paragraphs than my speaking prowess (I have always take pride in myself in being an accomplished writer).

In the past, I have drafted speeches for others but do not have the opportunity to present the speech in person. After going through the entire process of writing, editing and speaking over a span of a few weeks for this speech, I find the journey to be both fulfilling and insightful. This experience (especially the satisfaction of delivering the speech myself) has served to remind me that although public speaking are often considered to be the number one fear among us, this phobia can be conquered if only we take the first step. And I figure that the factors leading to my success are these:

•  Focus on the message:  Most of us will get excited when delivering a speech in front of a large crowd (which in this case, numbers in the hundreds). What I have done is to place my focus on delivering the message and telling myself that this message - once successfully delivered - will benefit the listening crowd, instead of placing the focus on myself, which will cause me to be self-conscious and thus increases the chances of fumbling.

• Know that the audience is supporting you: I have developed an inner confidence that the members of the audience are supporting me and want me to succeed. This has pushed me on to complete the speech.

• Go slow: I have made the effort to moderate my pace of presentation and monitored it constantly for this speech. Although I tend to speed up at times due to excitement, I always managed to catch myself and slow down my speech delivery almost immediately. Accordingly to the feedback from some of my friends, I have only increased the pace of my speech only once, which I feel is a good effort. And I believe that once you try it, you can do it better than me. 

• Look at every area of the crowd: Some of us have the perception that looking down at the script has the effect of reducing our nervousness. While this is true to a certain extent, this gesture often makes us look reserved and aversive, impressions that we certainly do not want to give to our audiences. So, do look at the audiences. Do not concentrate on a few specific individuals who make you look comfortable. Move your eyes in a sweeping fashion using the “left-center-right-center-left” approach repetitively. This makes us look confident and illustrates our intent to deliver our message across to our audiences. And seriously, it is not as scary as it sounds. Try it and see.

• Adjust the distances between the microphone and ourselves:  I am using a stationary microphone while speaking behind a lectern last night and I realise that controlling our volume can get tricky. It’s best to test the volume of our voices which are being projected prior to the actual presentation. Each of us speaks with a different volume and pitch and this can make a whole lot of difference when our voices are projected through the microphone. Controlling and optimising the distances between the microphone and ourselves is key to attracting and sustaining the audience’s attention.

• Rehearsal:  Try to have a few rehearsals and a sound test before the actual event. This has helped me substantially in familiarising myself with the actual setting where I am giving my speech.

On the whole, I have always favoured speaking freely in front of a live audience but for this speech that I have given last night, I have actually done it behind a lectern. This is something that I thought will be easy but realises it’s also rather challenging instead. I am glad for this opportunity but have realised that this experience has somehow humbled me quite a bit. 

I have realised that public speaking - with or without a lectern - is equally challenging. Unless one is experienced and has done sufficient rehearsals, successful public speaking is meant only for those who are determined and with a strong focus to benefit one’s audiences with our messages.

I am glad that I have done relatively well for this public speaking opportunity.

And I look forward to many more.

I have just read a book on a Chinese historical figure by the name of Zeng1 Guo2 Fan1.

He has mentioned that as an academic, he has identified two fallacies in his life, which are:

• Poor theoretical practitioner: While fluent with theories, academics are poor practitioners of theories. In another words, academic are good at espousing ideas and thoughts about enabling progress but may find the actual applications of such ideas and thoughts challenging when it comes to doing it. This is also probably the reason why academics are often considered as “critical thinkers” but not “strong practitioners”.  In contemporary times, there also seems to exist a problem in assisting students to adjust to the workplace when they graduate from school. There’s been a common perception that students who graduate from tertiary institutions are able to better adjust to the workplace than their friends from academically-focused institutions. This is especially so when it comes to the application of theories. Hence, as educationists, I believe that we will need to place more focus on helping the students from every institution to be adept in this area.

• Harsh towards others, lenient towards self: Zeng1 Guo2 Fan1 has also mentioned that academics tend to be lenient towards oneself but harsh towards others. While this may not speaks true of all academics, it is still sound advice for everyone. In fact, we should practice the opposite, which is to be harsh towards oneself and lenient (as well as forgiving towards others). When we are harsh towards ourselves, we self-reflect and draw lessons from our experiences. When we are lenient towards others, we gain the acceptance of others (although this should never the intention of our actions) and we create a positive environment around us.

Therefore, the abovementioned points are important for us to do well in the workplace and to get along well with others too. In fact, employers are now looking for employees who are able to not only turn a plan on paper into reality, they are also looking for a team player who is able to work well with others.

And the abovementioned points will enable us to achieve that.