Psychological games that people play : Afterthoughts


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For my first post on this series, please click here.

This series of blog posts have shown nine of the more common roles that people tend to display but it is important to note that these roles are not exhaustive. Some of us play different roles at different times. In fact, some of us are hybrids, combining two or more roles at the same time.

Such roles are generally used to enable one to adapt to a new situation, avoid embarrassing others or oneself, increase one’s social standing or merely to draw others to us.

“Of course, in society, there are many who advocate that we should just be ourselves. That would be best – of not for the fact that society or life doesn’t work this way. This is because certain personality types require a certain role to “dance” with, such that the tango can continue.”

Being ourselves would simply mean sticking to a role that we are familiar or feel more comfortable with. If doing so helps the situation, that is fine. However, there will come times when sticking to our dominant roles will cause conflict or embarassment to others. And that’s when we will need to play other roles in order to relate to others.

This is something that is almost never taught in school. In fact, it can almost never be taught.It has to be lived.

“I will encourage anyone who wish to attain personal success in interpersonal relationships to explore the various common roles and be experimental in one’s interactions with others.  Identify the personality style of others and be experimental. If one role does not work, try another.”

This is not about manipulation or hypocrisy. This is about exploring and finding the right way to communicate well with others.

Over time, you will be able to identify which roles gel well together, and which roles will result in conflict.

I hereby wish you all the best!


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