All of us know that we have five senses: we can see, hear, smell, taste and touch. However, when we employ any of the five senses or two or more of them simultaneously, our mind usually comes into the picture as well. In another words, we can say that our mind is our sixth sense. Not in an intuitive way (although at times it is) but rather, literally. Therefore, whenever we use one of the five senses, our mind will come in and influence our perception.
For example, if your eyes fall on an object such as a table, you immediately scan for the details, such as the fabric of the tablecloth (if there are any), the decorative features on the fabric, any ornaments on the table such as vases and flowers as well as any cutlery that are being placed on it. Based on all these observations, your mind immediately make an assessment of the observation and provides you with a conclusion that this table is used for dining purposes and the person who designed it has a strong refined taste too. This conclusion is given to you by your mind and it takes only a fraction of a second. As can be seen, your mind and your sight are almost inseparable. One see and another decides. So, we do not simply see. We assess and we perceive. And as in all perception of individuals, there are often biasness and inaccuracy in our judgement. We can safely assume that the other four of our senses work in the same way too, with our minds. However, to simplify matters, let’s just consider our sight for this discussion.
While this phenomenon is acceptable when we consider inanimate objects, things get tricky when we deal with unique individuals. Let’s consider another example. Imagine yourself in a party and you are alone. You are feeling hungry at the moment and hence you make your way across the room to grab a bite. Along the way, you pass many people. And as you look at them, different feelings arise. They may be positive or negative but seldom neutral. We may take a fancy to some people but may not be so for others. Why is this so? This can often be attributed to our past. Our minds have the tendency to remember things vividly in the past (although we can’t recall the past most of the time). As a result, it also has the tendency to identify similar traits between individuals that you like and dislike in the past with individuals that you come across currently. This is acceptable if you have positive experiences throughout your entire life. However, should you have certain negative experiences, it will be reflected in your current interactions with people.
The only way to circumvent this is to just see. What this means is that when you look at any object or individual, you just look. Allow your mind to rest in its natural state and bring a neutral attitude to every interaction. Be loving to all individuals and others will respond in kind.
You can see this attitude in most good communicators. We can often sense it but we do not know the psychology behind it. This article therefore seeks to provide the background information on the phenomenon behind charismatic communicators.