This article is an analysis of the personal recount writing in my previous post (“A Daring Venture”). You can either view the previous post directly below or you can click here.

It will be great if you are able to read the short story first before reading further in order to have a better understand of how literary devices work in narrative writing.

For this post, I will like to highlight three primary elements that make this story stands out on its own:

Human nature: Non-fiction writing can allow technicalities to take precedence and overrides the need to emphasise human values but a great fictional or personal recount story cannot overlook the important and influential role that human nature plays in a narrative.

Values such as respect, love, betrayal, disappointment, happiness, sadness and the multitude of human emotions are great literary elements that relate and bind people together through stories. Think  Shakespeare.  Narratives are meant to soothe the heart more than stimulate the mind. Leave non-fiction writing for the latter.

Intersection of time: If you have read the story “A Daring Venture“, you would have realised that the story moves among the past, present and future. In addition, the movement is not linear but sporadic. This has the effect of attracting the readers into the core of the story through the movement of time. However, the narrative must move in such a way that the past, present and future merge into one seamless flow.  This cannot be taught literally but can be learnt through consistent and continuous writing exercises.

The trade off is that much effort has to be put in to ensure that the right tenses are used and this usually is challenging to achieve under tight time constraints.    Should students choose to adopt this form of writing, intensive practices and guidance are required prior to mastery of this writing style. However, once this skill is mastered, it will enable students to maintain consistency of tenses for all if not most forms of writing.

Psychological elements: These elements relates closely to human nature but what sets them apart is the fact that while human nature talks about qualities and values, psychological elements may take the form of literary advice (as in the case for this story where snippets of page extracts are used as guiding devices for the author), a motif  (such as the use of a doll whose photos are taken in various countries with it sitting on a bench, signifying change or mobility),  the deep, inner thoughts of the writer, and many more.

Psychological elements are wider in scope and hence easier to use and elaborate than those espoused by human nature, which tends to be more intangible and requires the use of scenarios and scenes to bring out their essence.

As we explore more writings in the near future, I will provide more literary tools for you to explore and use in your writings.

Stay tuned.

Out of the various writing genres, personal recount writing (that is, writing that uses the first-person perspective using the pronoun “I”) is – more often than not – the more interesting writing style. While the story may be contained or even confined within the psyche and understanding of the main protagonist who is the writer, the personal narrative adds a personal touch to the story seldom seen in other writing styles.

Below is a piece of writing which I will like to share with all of you. I hope that you enjoy this.  In my next article, I will provide some insights on the ways that this writing works in terms of literary writing devices and the style that the writing is structured.

Topic:

A Daring Venture

I am an introvert by nature.

I like solitude and I love staying in my room reading books or listening to Jazz or New Age music. I get to have a world of my own without the intrusion of others. I relish the moments of insights as I agree with the thoughts of an author or meditate under the tune of soft music. Yes, this is my world – and I am loving it.

However, there is a hefty price that I pay.

My social circle is small, as I do not socialise often. My friends do not know me well, as I did not put in the effort to know them well.  I do not get invited to parties often because I almost always turn down every invites that I receive. I do not know how to communicate as I only communicate with myself in my head.

And then, one day, everything changed.

Or rather, you can say that a book that I have read changed everything.

I can still recall the title of the book vividly despite all these years.  The title is “How to have a chance encounter that will change your life”. When I first set my eyes on the title in the library prior to borrowing it, I thought the title was plain, simple and almost self-explanatory. I did not know what attracted me to the book but somehow, I was mesmerised by it.  I did not know what effects the content of the book would have on me but I loved it anyway. Psychology is never my forte but still, the title held my interest.

Perhaps this is preordained. I do not know.

I have a strange feeling about this book. As mentioned, I am not new to books. I have read books of almost every topic available but most merely increase my knowledge.

This title is different. It mesmerised me like never before.

I placed the book on the table and flipped to the first page:

“Observation skills are not only to be learnt but to be practised. You must act on what you have learnt. Then the skills you learn will change your life – forever. “

The sentence stared back at me and I felt a sense of anticipation.

Change my life? How is that possible?

I began to read the first paragraph.

“Perception wraps reality. We are trapped by our mental conceptions until we free ourselves from them by observing reality and understanding the formation of perceptions through them. And being observant is the bridge joining the two…..“

From that day on, I began to practise my observation skills.  And I began to notice things I have never noted before – the type of clothes that others wear, the colour of the tie that matches a shirt, the different type of greeting gestures that others display, the various types of smiles that either reveal or hide emotions. And through these, I began to map out the various perceptions I have of them, as well as having a good gauge of the perceptions held by them. In other words, I began to understand the worlds of others and how my world relates to theirs. Over time, I began to connect with them psychologically, but not in a interpersonal kind of way, if you know what I mean.

Then one day, it happened.

I was sitting on a seat in a train when I noticed that a lady dressed in a yellow dress was seated across from me. She is in her early twenties. Her yellow dress was prominent but that was not what attracted my attention.  Rather,  it’s the ruby necklace she wore that was interesting. I have seen that necklace before, at a jewellery store. It was from Paris, France. I always have an interest in stones, and ruby is among them.

“Observe aspects of others carefully. What stands out is the obvious. But it’s the similarity that connects.” 

I am beginning to understand this sentence.

The lady suddenly noticed me looking at her and she returned the gaze, smiling while doing so. It was awkward to have somebody looking at me with interest as that has not happened to me for quite a while.

But the distance between us was far. There are many passengers standing and moving along in the train and our eye contact is constantly being cut intermittently by the passing bodies. I noticed that she has the tendency to look away and then back at me again, as if we are caught in a game of hide-and-seek.  It was not long before I did the same. The passing crowd between us becomes our hiding posts and for a while, we indulged in a match of peekaboo.

“Instant and continuous connection is fleeting. Intermittent communication with silences and absence in-between is key to sustaining a resilient relationship. We need to give each other space to rejuvenate and to recharge. Observe this in your interactions with others. “

True to its words, our switching attention from the moving crowd to ourselves are – in a strange way – sustaining our continued interest in each other. But still, none of us make a move to go forward and start a conversation.

“A connection is not deliberate. A connection just happens. There are people whom we are meant to meet in this life but we have to notice them through our astute observation if we are to really meet them. Placing your eyes on the pages of your book won’t do. Closing your eyes and listening to the music blasting out of your earphones is worse. Open your eyes and look around. See who is attracted to you and why you are sustaining their attention. That is the point.“

As the train neared my stop, I stood up sadly and headed for the exit door to her right. How many times have I brushed shoulders with someone whom I have a connection with but never have the opportunity to connect? It’s uncountable. I sighed with disappointment with my eyes glazed over and looking at my own reflection in the glass panel in front of me.  And then the image of the lady appeared behind my left shoulder, looking at me and smiling.

I smiled back.

“No matter how great is the possibility of an encounter, there will come a point where you have to initiate contact. Shyness will impede you at this stage. Hesitation will destroy your courage.  Fear will draw you back.  Only confidence and a desire to know someone new will push you forward to take that initiative to start that life-changing conversation.”

“Hi!” I greeted her.

“”Hi!” She greeted back.

“I like that necklace of yours. I know where you have bought it.”

“Is that so? Haha! So, where did I buy it?”

“Well, is there a prize if I got it right?”

Both of us burst out laughing.

And the rest is history.

“Humour is the prescription for nervousness. A right dose of it at the right moment can work miracles for any new social interactions. The trick is to know what to say, how to say, how much to say and when to say it. “

Today, Jenny is my best friend and we still go out often. I am not sure if I can call these dates but for now, I know that if I had not put in the effort to read the book, I would never have found a soul mate.

“When you have known somebody through a chance encounter on your own initiative, you know you have the  power to widen your social circles and create change in your life.

And when you have done it once, you know – deeply in your heart – that you can always do it again.”

In recent years, there have been discussions – both online and offline – that although specialists are often having the edge over generalists, societal trends in contemporary times have strong indicators to show that luck or rather, the current movement of the times, greatly favours the generalists.

Before elaborating further, it might be good to define what “specialists” and “generalists” mean. Within the context of this writing, the term “specialist” refers to individuals who have developed and possess a specialty, which they have used it to carve out a career. Besides some exceptions, some common careers for specialists include accounting, lawyers, bankers, business consultants etc.

“Generalists”, on the other hand, refer to individuals who seem to have an innate knack for tasting the varieties and spice of life and have the proclivity to develop width instead of depth when it comes to knowledge, wisdom and insights. Some common professions that most generalists tend to pursue include entrepreneurs, teachers, professors, writers etc.

As can be observed, the professions that specialists are in often gives them a huge paycheck while the occupations that generalists belong to often belong to the freelance category where the payoffs of satisfying intrinsic interests are often much greater than the monetary remunerations (which provides extrinsic motivation) that are brought in.

It almost seems that the business world is a mold possibly created by specialists for specialists. Look at the professions of generalists: Entrepreneurs are creators of business, not part of an existing business model or structure.  Teachers and professors, while prestigious, remain within the academic domain (thereby giving birth to the argument that students nurtured by the academia often do not fit into the business world). As for writers, their creativity and writing style are often greatly admired – but usually not in the business world (elaborate and detailed emails are often frowned on or scorned upon in corporate settings, where brevity is highly valued.  The better writers usually cannot survive on brevity as it drastically diminishes their creativity).

Hence, generalists are often perceived as misfits in the business world. This may sound harsh but the realities of things do reflect the fact that - more often than not – generalists do not fit well into corporate settings (or corporate cultures). In addition, they often hold their own points of views, and they like to create things that includes abstract thoughts, tangible products or simply, an idea.

But is that really so? That generalists are doomed to fail in the corporate world?

Of course not. Generalists just need a different environment to thrive. That’s all. As the pace of life increases and more importantly, as the workplaces change, it almost becomes apparent that generalists are the new princes and princesses who will save the day.

How is this so?

Let’s look at some of the trends that greatly favour the generalists:

Climbing the corporate ladder is getting harder than ever before:

With increasing mergers and acquisitions as well as retrenchments, it is getting more challenging to make the steep ascent up the rungs of the corporate ladder. Let’s face it. With an increase in work pace and thinner bonuses, fewer bosses have the capability to groom all if not most young and aspiring corporate executives. The bosses themselves are also facing the risk of retrenchments. Specialists are most probably going to have a hard time in this time and age as they require to acquire  experiences in a specific field by staying in an organisation long enough for them to carve out a niche for themselves. However, like the stock market, the rise and fall of industry sectors are moving at a pace faster than ever before. While we are only looking at the increased pace of organisations as they mature from a young start-up to an established firm during the earlier years, we now have to consider the additional, external layer of change that involves industries and professions. Coupled with the fast manpower movements in modern organisations, it make it almost impossible for specialists to carve out a niche for themselves or for the more established, to maintain strong and firm foothold on their reign. Generalists, on the other hand, have an edge in this aspect. What is considered “job-hopping” by specialists are often regarded as “speedy exposure to the variety of professions in a journey to learn and adopt a cross-disciplinary approach to life” by the generalists. To the generalists, variety is the spice of life. And in their younger days, the generalist tends to favour freedom and flexibility in their personal lives over a bigger paycheck. This mindset seldom changes over the long term as well. Some of them will become entrepreneurs after a few years in the work force, having found a passion in creating and starting an enterprise as well as  creating their own rules, tasting and relishing freedom as opposed to following others.  On the whole generalists are more suited for entrepreneurship because of their strong tendency to explore a larger scope of domain over the specialists. And entrepreneurship not only requires this quality - it demands it.

Required skill sets of a corporate employee are broadening:

While it remains as a fact that being specialised is essential for some professions, there is an increasing number of professions which are becoming more all-encompassing when it comes to the required skill sets. Just consider customer service. While it used to be merely handling face-to-face and answering telephone enquiries, most customer executives are now expected to pen and respond to emails, receive faxes, do research, attend courses, be adept in anger management, improve written and speaking skills, go for motivational courses and many more. With such a lateral expansion in terms of professional expertise, one can observe that more and more jobs are swinging in favour of generalists, as opposed to specialists. The generalist’s strong curiosity and knack for picking up new skills will be strengthened in such economic climate change while that of the specialists will be greatly weakened due to their proclivity to develop depth in a specialised field with a focus of singularity rather than forging a learning mindset of a widened spectrum. Specialist may pursue an alternative route of developing another specialised field in demand, which takes time and which means that they would have to start all over again. Nevertheless, this choice is feasible should the specialists choose to be adaptable.

Emphasis is now placed on creativity and innovation:

While the economy has always placed focus on rationality, logic and reason when it comes to business, the New Age era has arrived and something else is needed, which is creativity and innovation. It’s interesting to note that creativity and logic do not always go well together. And it will be good to add that they are – more often than not – mutually exclusive.  This probably explains why most businessmen are not ad guys and why most creatives are not businessmen. It seems that the required skill sets stem from different parts of the brain. While it’s commonly said that women are from Venus while men are from Mars, it might be fair to say that businessman are from Pluto while the creatives are from Jupiter. The (business) world is moving from a linear assembly line with a hierarchical structure to a lateral expansion whereby designations and titles are pretty much diminished and underrated, whereas the ability to think “out of a box” is greatly emphasised. In the past, during the times of Picasso and Michaelangelo, creativity has always been the revered quality that pushes mankind forward, and it should always have been. However, industrialisation and technology advancement change all that, turning the human geniuses of humans into stagnated landscapes of machinery. We are now just returning to where we belong – the artistic realm of the artists which science often couldn’t touch and hence couldn’t understand. Architecture is one example of a unique blend of art and science. Engineering and IT firms are adopting the hybrid of an art-science approach as well. Let’s hope that all go well such that both the skills of the specialists and generalists can be put to good use. Nevertheless, the cold metallic feel of the sciences will probably never understand the imaginary realm and boundless expanses of the arts.

Having said the above, I would still suggest and encourage that generalists develop some niche areas of specialties by leveraging on their strengths.

Ultimately, the greatest achievements of mankind are often hinged on the depth of knowledge in various professional fields where one is able to adopt a cross-disciplinary approach and integate various components into one cohesive whole.

As the saying goes, “A Jack of all trades is a master of none.”

Humans are social beings and we need to socialise and to talk.  Every conversation with others act as a portal to increase our learnings about life, about love and about compassion.

One-to-one conversation is easy to maintain since there are eye contact and the conversation is two-way – where both parties take turn to be both the speaker and the listener. As long as both are tuned in to the ensuing dialogue with minimal disagreement, their focus and congruency will ensure that a smooth verbal communication will take place. It might not be spontaneous or hyped up, but it will likely be a seamless flow of responses and acknowledgments, questions and answers, verbal thoughts and feedback.

Group conversations are much more challenging, since eye contact is spread thin over several parties that can span a dozen. People’s attention are constantly shifting, often due to lack of attention on them by the speaker and  a dilution of focus results as thoughts shift with listeners’ eyes glazing over. While the speaker is speaking with some listeners looking at him while the rest nod their heads seemingly in silent agreement, here is a good question to ask:

How many are actually listening? 

Unless one is a skilled facilitator, it is unlikely that anyone is able to answer the question above accurately. And even for a highly-skilled facilitator, he or she might misjudge the situation.

For group discussions, it is important that a group member be a facilitator, who will act as the anchor point to direct and re-direct questions and responses from one member to another. The group members can take turn to be facilitators in most cases, which is also a valid and great option (since it can be exhausting for a single facilitator to facilitate the entire session).

It is not possible to list out all possible situations that arise within a group interaction due to the enigmatic nature of group dynamics but it is reasonable to list out the likely scenarios that are common in group discussion.  While this article does not attempt to turn the art of managing group interactions into a science, it simply is not possible to discuss and provide some insights into this subject matter without breaking them down into various common scenarios, as follows:

• Handling digressions: It is not often that a group discussion remains focused on the subject matter being discussed. Usually, someone may bring in a related or unrelated topic that brings the group members’ attention away from the primary discussion at hand. At times, it is easy to steer the conversation back on track by thanking the speaker and subsequently bringing the discussion back to the designated topic – especially when the topic is unrelated to the discussion. However, what do one do when a related point is brought up but it tends to bring the discussion in a different direction? For example, group members are discussing the various ways to organise a photography competition when a group member brought up logistics concern for food. While food provision is a related and important concern, the main discussion points are on brainstorming on the creative ways to organise the events. Delving into food concerns at this point will not not only create a digression, it will dilute the focus of the discussions and lengthen the discussion duration.

At this point, one should not brush off the contributing group member’s point but rather, inform him or her that her point will be noted and discussed later. And more importantly, write down the point that was contributed and ensure that this point is discussed subsequently in later meetings. Ignoring or overlooking  (previous) contributions by group members is a serious and crucial mistake made by most facilitators of meetings and discussions. Integrity and valuing group members’ contributions are crucial in ensuring group members’ continual participation and involvement in ongoing discussion sessions.

Granting respect to all group members is one of the most important and determining factors in enhancing group dynamics. 

• Handling a dominating speaker: There are times where a dominating speaker may interrupt a discussion session for various reasons, such as wanting to say something that comes to mind, having an intention to steer the discussion in his or her direction and the like.  Be it the instance whereby a speaker is trying to express his or her viewpoint in a very detailed manner or if he or she is trying to take control of the discussion and steer it in his or her desired direction, the facilitator should step in to regain control of the situation. Some techniques that can be used includes directing a raised point by the dominating speaker to another group member to answer, interrupting the dominating speaker in the capacity of a facilitator while further elaborating on his or her points, and calling for a “time-out” session for everyone to take a break (During the break, talk casually to the dominating speaker and tactfully encourages him or her to provide opportunities for others to speak. Also, it will be good to inform the group members that as the facilitator, we will offer him or her the opportunity to elaborate on certain points upon our promptings during the discussion sessions.  More often than not, he or she will comply).

• Handling a diversified discussion: Sometimes the discussion topic can be too wide, such as when brainstorming for ideas for a carnival. While efforts can be made to break the discussion session into separate topics such as types of booth available, logistic cost, wet weather considerations, types of sponsoring charities etc, it can be seen that certain topics such as the discussion on the types of booth will generate spontaneous ideas and outbursts that range from the types of games to be introduced to the rides that can be rented. This will somewhat create confusion for both the facilitator and the group members. A good solution will be to ride with the ideational wave rather than go against the tide. Take notes.  Write every single idea down on the white board, notepad or whatever. White board would be a better idea as it has a larger surface area and a photo of what is written down can be taken and distributed to the group members after the discussions. This surely beats having everyone copy verbatim from a single notepad, yes? After all the points are noted down, the facilitator can split the points into different possible categories, such as – for this instance – types of game booths, types of food booths, types of rides etc. The discussion can then proceed further. In other words, using the “Divide and Conquer” strategy works well in this instance, breaking complex tasks into more manageable components.

• Handling a quiet group: Handling a quiet group is another situation commonly encountered in group discussions.  It need not necessarily be due to the fact that most members are introverts. The discussion topic might be dull. The topic might be too technical. The environment might not be conducive for discussions. Understanding the causes behind the quietness is important and relevant. For example, we can change the discussion environment if possible. However, there are things that cannot be altered. For example, discussion topics are almost impossible to change if they are to be discussed within a specific context, which leaves us only with communication techniques to work with. So how then, can we tackle such a situation without a change in an environment but merely through the use of communication and facilitation techniques?  No matter how dull a subject, we can always explore creative angles to ask questions that usually evoke answers. For example, for work processes – which are usually rather mundane – we can pose the following question to the group: “So, who has a funny story to tell about a particular work processes that you have gone through?” Interestingly, open-ended questions can create initial interest but hard to sustain attention throughout the discussion session. Seasoned facilitator frequently use humour during the session and pepper them throughout the entire duration of the meet. If the group members remain quiet after questions are raised, directing questions to specific group members would be good. However, tactfulness has to be exercised by choosing the more responsive members to respond. Failing to do so might irritate some members who are not attuned to be responsive, causing them to withdraw further or even becoming defensive.

• Handling verbal conflicts: Verbal conflicts are not as common as what some would assume. In fact, in-your-face conflicts are almost never seen in group discussion sessions unless one’s values have been attacked. Human nature contains the seed of respect for others and although this has always been attacked by one’s ego, usually respect for oneself and others wins out in the end. In fact, one would see more “trolling” in online forums than an angry outburst in an open discussion session.  More commonly seen are the battle of sarcasm between two or more members, whereby one insults the other through the use of indirect references. For such situations, humour is often the social perfume that serves to diffuse them. This is usually initiated by the facilitator and spread by the neutral group members. Diffusing of tense situation is just one function of humour. It can also act as the bed which the offender and offended can fall back on without further verbal retaliation as all traces of anger and animosity dissolves in the mist of a humourous situation. Maintaining a calm composure (especially by the facilitator who should lead by example) is also very important as doing so tends to ease tension.

• Handling the quiet critic: When facilitating a discussion session, it will be wise not to be too happy when most seem agreeable to (almost) everything that you say. They will sometimes clap and applause you and make you feel on top of the world. The fact is that, more often than not, it’s impossible to have everyone agree with us. The root of such coherent synchronicity lies in one’s strict adherence to social norms, especially in contemporary societies where inter-dependent relationships are the key to one’s survival in love, work and life. While some may regard such actions as insincere, it should be noted that while one’s principles should not be breached, adherence to social norms is merely a way to establish and build rapport with others. While some may not agree with such a technique, it cannot be denied that this is a common social practice and we have to learn to live with it. However, how do we find out who are not agreeable when all seems to be agreeable? One way will be to build agreement up to a point where almost all members have agreed. Then, at this point, bring up points of disagreement to balance the argument. Bring up doubts. There will be some members at this point who will continue with this line of thought, who will continue to contribute their opposing views to balance the pre-determined stand made previously. Another way will be to observe the members who are sitting cross-armed or appearing straight-faced – the minority who choose to show their disagreement overtly. While most will choose to agree with the facilitator as mentioned above, observe the few who wouldn’t. As facilitators, let these few understand that there are grounds for disagreement and then step aside to give them room to disagree and offer their view points.

Most quiet critics are not quiet by choice. They remain quiet because they are usually in the minority and hence hesitant to speak up or provide an alternative voice. If, as facilitators, we are able to give them the opportunity to speak up without any risk of being ridiculed, they will most likely speak up. What are left are our facilitation skills that determine how smoothly this can be carried out. 

Overseeing and influencing group dynamics is an art form and is never easy.  Reading what is written above will not make you a great facilitator. You might be wondering why I have spend much time and effort in writing them then. The reason is because the notes above are for your own self-reflection after you have facilitated a group discussion session. Read it once before you facilitate a session and read it again soon after.

See the difference for yourself.

Most of us read books for knowledge but the real road to gaining wisdom and insights through life is actually experiential. If this is the case, what are the use of books then?  They are meant to evoke enlightening thoughts and sparking insights, further deepening the life lessons that we have already learnt and deeply embedding them into our psyche – after we have truly lived. 

Life is meant to be lived, and not read. 

When one thinks of “climbing the corporate ladder”, office politics comes to mind. And when one sees the word “relational process”, there’s almost a definite certainty forming in one’s mind of the linkage between office politics and the relationship-building process that enables one to make it up the upper rungs of the corporate ladder or the upper echelons of the corporate hierarchy.

But this is not what the article is about. In fact, this article serves to assert the fact that climbing the corporate ladder is more about establishing sincere relationships than merely forging collaborative ones which rings hollow in the center.

Furthermore, while it sounds controversial in saying that relationship-building is more important than hard work (seemingly to imply that laziness is a permissible trait when one is a “people” person), this is also not what the article stands for. Instead, it argues that fact that while hard work is an quintessential and vital quality to possess for any corporate employees, it’s one’s ability to establish, develop and sustain relationships that truly determines one’s success in the work place.

In a word, the ability to build strong and close relationships supercedes both hard work and office politics.

A worker may work hard but without the complementary and essential communication skills of relating to his or her colleagues, teamwork is weakened. This is fine if solitary works are the norm but the new economy calls for efficient and effective collaborations instead of self-sustaining, “go-it-alone” profession. All if not most organisations require teamwork for creative works, long-term projects and innovative endeavours. Solitary efforts are often admired and respected, but the output almost always falls short when compared to what a team can develop.

Office politics are merely power plays and when analysed in detail, what it comes down to is a matter of sheer self-preservation. Office politics are indulged in because it bestows power on the political player (although the power may not be all-encompassing at times), binding power players together (but creating segmentation and fragmentation within organisations). And because the objectives of office politics are almost always to stay secure by retaining power within the organisation, players are lured by the perceived security that office politics provide. However, internal conflicts and groupthink may result more from a political group than from a team whose members come together sincerely because the latter believe strongly and deeply  in doing something together that benefits themselves and others.

While the scope of describing and explaining the ways to establish, develop and build rapport are complex and broad ( thereby going beyond the scope of this article), the essence of relationship-building can still be outlined:

• Compassion: It is not possible to develop people skills without understanding others. And the right way to understand others is through an in-depth understanding and faithful practice of compassion – of forgiving people who are angry (although we might be justified in being angry ourselves), of understanding other people’s perspective (although we might not always agree with them), of recognising other people’s talents and understanding that they, too, want to be recognised for their strengths and abilities. If a 1000-mile journey on the road to relationship success begins with a single step, then developing compassion for others is that first step. 

• Respect: This is the second quality that one should learn and develop during the  relationship-building process. Respecting someone else seems simple enough during the good times but this will prove to be very challenging in times of duress, such as when we are angry, when we are met with an opposing perspective or when we encounter someone who just will not listen to reason or worse, with no sign of being apologetic when they are in the wrong. How then, can we be respectful at all times? It is important to note that to be respectful, we need not apologise profusely, especially when we are in the right (as this may mean being too accommodating, which may be counter-productive in times when assertiveness, not submissiveness,  is required) or acceding to any requests by the other party (since some requests might prove to be unreasonable). Instead, respect may mean that we need to voice out, to speak out our thoughts and concerns (it’s great to remember that respect goes both ways. Only when we respect ourselves will others respect us. Although it’s true that others will respect us when we respect others, it’s also right to say that others will also respect us when we respect ourselves, usually by speaking out).  Respect may also mean that we highlight the  reasons why we disagree with the other party in a polite manner while identifying the common goals that all of us are working towards. Consistently focusing on a common goal is one great way to turn adversaries into allies by enabling them to recognise and accept the fact that our disagreements are not against them but are directed at creating the common good in achieving the desired goals together. Doing so will remove all if not most forms of perceived animosity or aggressiveness commonly seen in arguing or opposing parties.

• Negotiation skills: This is a commonly discussed skill in business settings but what seldom gets emphasised is that this is also a crucial skills in all aspects of life – parents wanting a child to obey them, children wanting his or her parents to buy a toy of  their fancy, teachers wanting to motivate their students, students wanting to get more reading time from their teachers or siblings discussing on what they want and expect from one another. There are some books which state that negotiation involves some form of power play. Ultimately, negotiation is about the respect we have for others and how much leeway are we willing to give based on that respect. The key to relationship-building through negotiation is to  always negotiate for things that benefit ourselves and others. When the other party realises that we are working towards the common good, they are more likely to relent and be a team player, going along with your endeavour rather than against you.

• Marketing skills/Personal branding: Self-branding sometimes has a bad name, especially for those individuals or groups that revere humility. While humility is a trait that that should be advocated, promoted and practised, there are times when humility should be exercised and there are times where self-promotion should take precedence (although humility should always be there). For example, during job interviews where one needs to focus and elaborate on one’s skill sets, wouldn’t one say that we should self-promote in this instance while staying humble? In the workplace, when one’s strengths and abilities are able to give a particular upcoming project a strong boost, wouldn’t one say it will be more logical to promote oneself to the project team leader to offer our services and contributions  as a project member (with the prior support and approval of one’s boss, of course)? So, one should learn to be humble while knowing the moments to contribute one’s abilities to better the organisations that we work in for the benefits of both ourselves and others.

• Personality: Just be yourself. It’s true. There are many who have lost themselves or wear social masks to conform to societal norms, and few things erode the essence of self faster than a bureaucratic corporate environment. Most organisations seek to nurture talents but profitability and short-term insights often undermine what most of such endeavours. One has to understand that every personality has its pros and cons and that there’s no perfect personality. When one is certain of this fact, one will be able to pluck up the courage to be ourselves. That’s when we will really shine. And when others realise and understand that we are happiest when we are ourselves, they will follow suit. And when everybody are themselves, sincerity inadvertently builds up and this is when real, open communications take place.

• Fear: The act of succumbing to fear has killed the dreams of many and dashed the hope of the masses. To a certain degree, shyness is a result of fear. Fear of ridicule. Fear of being rejected. Fear of being ignored. For those shy individuals out there, here’s one word of advice: understand fear, feel it and then conquer it. Then see your social life improve right before your very eyes. Why does one hesitate in being an entrepreneur or starting a business? Fear of failure. Fear that what the naysayers say will come true. But if one do not try, one would not know success. And more great lessons are learnt in failures than in successes. Adopt and live the adage of “Fortune favours the bold“. It’s true. Courage begets courage. When we inspire ourselves, we inspire others and charisma is the result. Most people magnets are brave people, and their auras of courage are irresistibly attractive for this is a trait possessed by only a few.

• Service: We should always live our lives with the thought that we live our entire lives in the service of others. In a world proliferated with consumerism, materialism and individualism in most societies, where one often take the easy way out by marrying into a life of indulgence and comfort, few pause to ponder, think and ultimately arrive at an understanding that we are happiest when helping others, and not ourselves. This is the reason why charity and donations never die out in the world. Our life force is sustained and reinvigorated through such altruistic endeavours, a fact realised and advocated by merely a philanthropic few – primarily the spiritually awakened. When we see ourselves as “service men and ladies” who work towards the well-being of mankind and the world, we naturally relate well to others. Everybody needs a little help sometimes – or a listening ear. We all live in the service of mankind, consistently endeavouring to make the world a better place.

The ability to establish, develop and strengthen relationships is the key to success in the corporate workplaces,  but its benefits extends to one’s social life as well. Some might consider individuals who possess this skill as someone with a high level of emotional quotient but I prefer a less scientific term and a more artistic expression  - a People Leader.

In recent years, there has been an rapid emergence of visual dominance in presentation slides, where imagery supersedes words. There are numerous authors currently leading this trend, and one of them is Garr Reynolds (who have basically introduced Presentation Zen to the world, emphasising simplicity over text-filled slides) – the other being Nancy Duarte, who has provided the more technical aspects of presentations through her books “Resonate” and “Slide:ology”. Presently, this has changed the landscape of presentation.And the website TED (Technology, Entertainment and Design) has further pushed the new boundaries of presentation further in light of making this world a better place through the use of technology, entertainment and design.

As the presentation landscape is changing, a website is acting as an online platform for such presentation style to take off – Slideshare. Up-to-date information (most of them pertaining to businesses, advertising and presentations) are provided online for users to browse and learn. What makes Slideshare stands out from other websites is that it not only provides updates on the latest trends for online users, it also strives to inform, entertain and at times, persuade – and research has shown that visuals works better than text.

This blog post strives to bring highlights of certain presentations that might be of relevance to educators and business professionals. For this month of April, the following presentations are worthy of highlighting:

1. FAIL by Nick Smith: The ironic thing about human nature is that we tend to move towards pleasure and shy away from pain. And failing is pain. But here’s the catch: Without failing, there can almost be no success. How else can one succeed when one does not discover the pitfalls of success through failures? And research has now shown that the excellent individuals who excelled in their respective areas of expertise depends not so much on their intellectual abilities. EQ doesn’t help as much in this aspect as well. The key is in repeat practice.

2. Don’t be rich. Live rich by Nomadz.nu:  The lifestyle of digital nomads may only be just beginning. Two individuals in their 30s who choose to lead the trend has produced this thought-inspiring slides on their lifestyle and what works as digital nomads.  Who can say that working independently as a business professional is not a valid option nowadays? The website creators feels that it is possible. This is in line with the ideas of  Timothy Ferriss , the renowned author of ‘”The 4-hour Work Week“.

3. How conversation helps you to build a strong personal brand by Professor Steven Van Belleghem:  This is a good presentation on the advantages of building conversations with others through social media. A good highlight is the advice on being active on social media every single day, 365 days a year. Like all things in life, building up a large social media fan base requires the same amount of commitment and dedication.

4. A New Influence by Jason Keath: With the rise of social media, the world is hearing more alternative voices than those expressed by the media and the publishing industry. Trend-leading bloggers with insights are on the rise and the numbers may well surpass the number of media content providers as the years go by. Businesses are leveraging on social media but the influence of social media goes way beyond that – right into the realms of individuals’ lifestyle, entertainment channels and the like.

For those interested in keeping ahead with the latest trends through easy-to-digest visual slides, Slideshare is the place to go to.  More presentation slides for the month of April can be seen here.

Till the next update.

What is dance?

Dance is the movement of vitality, the celebration of life, the echoes of emotions.

It can be done in solitude or it can be performed with a partner or in groups. One can totally immerse oneself in the graceful ballet movements of an adagio, engage in a sensuous embrace that only Argentine Tango’s Sentada can offer or dance away to the rhythm of a tap dance. Regardless of the dancer’s companion or the types of dance that they engage in, the dancers are always at ease with themselves and their environment. They face life, embrace life and love life.

Seen in this light, dance is the true metaphor of life.

But dance – no matter how graceful or elegant it looks or seems to be – do not last long. When the dancers bow, the light dims and the curtain falls, the performance would have come to an end. While the dance performers may be awarded a standing ovation by their audiences,  it cannot be denied that the audience’s appreciation is the farewell gift that closes the night.

This is where dance separates from life. Dancers’ passion are lifted up by the enthusiasm of their audiences. When it comes to life, we should lift up others’ passions with our enthusiasm.

There is a group of individuals who live their lives engaging in other people’s passions. They love to hear stories of adventures from others, understand the passions and interests often lying dormant in them. They are the catalyst that unleash the potential and talent in others, enabling others to know that they are bigger than life, and that anyone can achieve their dreams if they want it badly enough and if they try hard enough. They give others hope when there seems none to be given.

These individuals are what I call the People Dancers.

But it is important to note that people dancers are not “yes-men” or sycophants. They do not pander to people’s every whims and fancies. They are not chameleons who switch personalities at will to win favours from others.  And they are definitely not spineless beings who thrive on flattery.

On the contrary, People Dancers are strong, determined and love others for who they are while not forgetting themselves in the process.

People Dancers have dreams and life goals. And they will stop at nothing to accomplish them. However, they also understand that life is too boring to tread on alone. They need companions, in the same way that the hobbit Frodo Baggins requires companions in his quest to destroy Sauron‘s ring in The Lord of the Rings.  They understand that more can be achieved through teamwork and collaboration than sheer individual efforts alone.  And the only way to achieve strong rapport with others besides having a single goal is to help others achieve their dreams. And to do that, they need to understand the interests and passions of others.

So, People Dancers dance with the people, dance with their passions and dance with their lives. They are willing to lend a listening ears to others, place themselves in the shoes of others and go the extra mile to help them achieve their dreams. And all this, they do them with sincerity and with a moral code that everything that they do are beneficial to both themselves and to others – bringing no harm whatsoever to anybody, be it physically or psychologically.

People dancers are not born as one. They are nurtured into one- which means that any one can be one.

Be one.

Life is constantly in a state of flux and change. People grow and age, flowers bloom and wither while time and tide wait for no man. The passage of time is a true albeit cruel fact – even for those who refuse to face it. Most of us choose to stay in denial and opt for an unchanged and stagnant life. A good question to ask ourselves is:

Is there really a life that stays the same forever? 

The answer is a straight “no”.

We don’t own a car forever. It will get damaged and eventually scrapped. We can live our whole life in a homely abode but our house will still get sold or may be destroyed by a natural disaster over time. Even our relationships with our friends and spouses change over time – be it for better or for worse. But human nature is such that we grasp futilely at constancy – knowing fully well that there is no such thing. This may be how the phrase “comfort zone” is created. Along the same vein, “stepping out of one’s comfort zone” is actually a normal way of living, and not what many proclaimed as an incredible feat. Similarly, “Staying in one’s comfort zone” is not what many presume to be the norm. In fact, staying in one’s comfort zone may well be the only road to mediocrity.

It is time to break the status quo of life.

We can already see this happening in the classrooms. While previously, educators are the ones appraising their students, some educational institutions have implemented the system of students assessing the teaching and/or facilitating effectiveness of their teachers. This may sound strange at first glance but think about it: only sound feedback from their students are educators able to improve their teaching skills. This is one of the best examples of breaking the status quo – the other being the fact that the abilities and talents of students are redefining curriculum and lesson plans. Teachers are no longer required or encouraged to teach students what they know. Through experiential learning, students are encouraged to create their own learning experiences based on their personalities, interests and inclinations. This will enable them to be lifelong learners instead of being great students from within their classrooms and feeling helpless from without.

Some employees often lament that they are often free to suggest ideas but find it extremely challenging to implement them within their organisations. There are numerous causes but the more common ones are as follows:

- Heavy workloads:  It is the responsibility of organisations to lighten the workloads of employees as not doing so not only stifle employees’ creativity, it basically exhaust them to the point of being ineffective. Having said that, some employees love to stay in their comfort zone – and having them face heavier workload by the day only makes them want to stay in the comfort zone longer. They will often use heavy workload as a reason not to take on new and exciting tasks. And who can blame them?

- Office politics and corporate bureaucracies: This is especially prevalent when the entire effort of a project rests on the shoulders of not one but several departments.  Let’s imagine just 2 departments X and Y collaborating on a project. When department X is supposed to be in charge of the presentation materials as well as the presentation session, any input from department Y to improve on the presentation materials may be thrown right out the window – despite the fact that the suggestions and ideas are valid and feasible. All departments want to look good. The presentation standards of Department X is good all this while, so why allow some comments from Department Y or any department for that matter to jeopardize that? Of course, one can argue that we should all help one another out in a collaborative effort to produce a good output. This is easy to say but in light of departmental appraisal coming up, who can blame them? Appraisals of departments and employees are a good way to ensure good to great performance by employees but it also causes conflicts – both internal and external.

- Differences in priorities and conflicts of interest:  One man’s meat is another man’s poison. An engineering department might like to push their invented product out to the market. The customer service department might say no because introducing a product too early with no prior testing may result in higher complains and increased workloads. They prefer dealing with patented and trusted products. The marketing department might say no because they already have marketing plans in place for existing products and the profits generated from their sales are more trustworthy than newly-invented products. After all, why spend time investing in the planning of new marketing plans and campaigns for an entirely new product (which might not even sell) when the current status quo brings in the revenue year after year? The sales department might say no because they have not known the new product’s features inside out and hence are not confident of selling them. An objection from any one of these three departments is sufficient to lay the new product to rest – forever.

If we are to examine the abovementioned three examples, we can observe that all three scenarios result from a closed mindset – a strong refusal to accept new things in life. This very act is – in actual fact-  going against the flow of life itself.  Only by adopting an open mindset are we able to embrace the miracles of life.  Christopher Columbus would not have found new lands if he does not have the courage to step outside his comfort zone to embark on a journey of exploration and discovery. If not for the innovative spirit that exists within the organisation, 3M would not be as successful as it is today.  If not for a “why not?” question in someone’s head,  useful inventions will not exist in this world.

So, break out of our comfort zone. Embrace Change. Be curious. Break new grounds. Leave the crowd and take the road less travelled by making a positive difference in someone’s life.

Help the poor and the underprivileged. Learn a foreign language. Help someone achieve their dreams.

The whole world lies ahead of us – only if we break out of our shell.

Take action now.

The world is waiting.

While most personal branding experts are advocating personal branding through self-promotion and online marketing, not much have been covered in terms of Passive Branding, which is a technique more suited for introverts who prefer a more “toned down” approach. Personal branding is a novel idea that may well work in the coming years but being assertive and gregarious is an exclusive domain for the extroverted and a frightful realm for the shy and the introverted.

This is where Passive Branding comes in.

Passive branding strategically utilises the essence of personal branding but turns the approach inside out or rather, upside down.  Individuals who are engaged in Passive Branding do not take the initiative to promote themselves. They express and showcase their talents to people in their lives who are within their reach (which includes their family members, loved ones, colleagues and friends),  build up their talent portfolios online (through blogs, Facebook and Twitter) over time and – here comes the most interesting aspect – wait to be approached.

Most of the time, we are often expected to be proactive:

“Go promote your abilities and talents to others.”

“If you are not in sight, you are out of sight.”

” Out of sight, out of mind.”

On the surface, all the abovementioned advice seem rather true. After all, how can we be known if we don’t actively promote ourselves? But think about this. Out of the hundreds of resumes that a job candidate sends out, how many of these applications actually secured them an interview? Five maybe? And if one is lucky, Ten? Fifteen? This is also the reason why job applications have always been considered as a numbers game. We can personalise our resumes to the jobs. We can be creative and create online resumes. We can even call organisations by phone, promote ourselves and request for job interviews.

But what credence does one have when pitted against those who have taken much time to develop their strengths quietly, bid their time and get approached by others based on peer recommendations and solid work portfolios? These individuals merely develop their abilities and talents through their daily interactions with work, communication and life, showcase their skills when the situations call for them, take things slow and create/ seize opportunities within their abilities when they appear.

Personal Branding has its strengths but Passive Branding may not pale in comparison when compared with Personal Branding. In fact, Passive Branding may have an edge of its own - a person engaged in Passive Branding understands the importance of patience and more importantly, they understand that most of the time, success comes not only from seizing opportunities but more significantly, from waiting.

Yes, waiting.

But how many of us are humbly waiting for the right opportunities instead of grasping at every fleeting moment of self-promotion?

With the surge in the commonality of social media, Twitter is fast becoming a popular platform for bloggers who love to share insights but lack the time to do so.  Although the term “microblogging” is seldom used within the context of tweeting (posting a short message of 140 characters including spaces), Twitter is a microblogging website for anyone with internet access. It can be linked to other social media websites and blogs.

For the newcomers who are new to Twitter, visiting the website for a look might be good. For the veteran users of Twitter, this blog might interest you more since it seeks to explore the role that Twitter can play in social network marketing. While the world is busy tweeting and posting messages online for their friends and loved ones, it might be good to pause and ask ourselves where all these “tweetings” are headed.  How many of these tweet messages are being read? How much impact do these tweet messages have in terms of marketing? How many of these tweet messages are being “re-tweeted” (as in one’s tweet messages being forwarded by others, just like emails)?

While most if not all of us wants to be heard or have a voice in cyberspace, how many are actually listening – or reading the tweet messages? If one is to observe the number of followers for Twitter users, the ones whose followers number in the thousands have usually done publicity in other mediums prior to using Twitter. They may have published a book (or several books for that matter) previously. They may be renowned public presenters or speakers. They may be sales professionals with an existing large client base. They may have existing websites that have already drawn lots of members and fans several years before.

Therefore, a good question to ask ourselves is the role that Twitter play in terms of marketing. It could be organisational branding. It could be personal branding. It could be retail branding. It doesn’t matter. What matters is the role that Twitter play in the marketing areas of whichever concerns us.  Because if the role of Twitter is not clear in any marketing plans, we are not utilising the full marketing capacity that Twitter offers us in engaging our customers, clients and stakeholders.

Careful analysis and examination will enable us to discover that Twitter works best as a complementary social media tool to existing marketing efforts.  Twitter proves to be a good extension arm of existing marketing campaigns. For marketers who seek to market their product from scratch, starting a blog or creating a website to develop a strong following of fans first might be a better choice. Twitter will come in handy when one’s marketing has taken off  - and not just starting. To use a metaphor of driving, Twitter is the fuel that powers the car, and is not the car itself (which refers to all prior marketing exposure).

In another words, Twitter is best considered as a social media tool to enable marketers to post news and updates surrounding a product or service that has already been advertised for some time and has garnered some popularity – and not as the primary driving marketing force behind a new product or service.

When used strategically and in the right way, Twitter is among the most powerful social media tool one can have to provide real-time updates to their customers and clients across the globe.